Mutiny!

Jul. 28th, 2011 06:20 pm
johanna_alice: (Default)
[personal profile] johanna_alice
I'm avoiding Queer Mutiny. In fact you could say that I'm mutinying against the mutiny. Only this time it's not a battle of wills or the kind of determined anger that gets me into so much trouble at other times. Just non-participation. I think I've just worked out why. It's about conformity again...

I didn't want to argue, so I didn't, but the nature of that decision and the one to not participate has been niggling me. Quite a few people were talking about maybe cooperating, working with or accessing other organisations. LGBT Youth was well up on the list. But one person dug their heels in and declared that this wasn't what QM was about. Which to a point is true. QM has it's own identity, it does things itself and doesn't get funded by any public body. However I do feel that if someone would potentially benefit from a cooperation then that can only be a good thing.

The collective is a funny thing. I've 'imposed' my will upon it in the past. OK that was a very deliberate re-phrase and demonstration that insisting the music played at an open-mic evening should be from a set play-list set on a computer-chosen random was plain old counter-productive. Bottom-line there was letting people play what they wanted. Quite a few people said they like the way things changed musically.

This time I was threatened with the collective wrath of the collective. That doesn't bother me much. But being told that something a few people would have liked to have done was not going to happen because it was against the ethos of QM and that if necessary many people would be dug up to essentially turn up and vote (yes, QM, vote!!) has turned QM from a friendly place where people do stuff together because they want to into some kind of formalised set of standards, morals and purposes with an old-guard ready to be rolled out to enforce the status-quo over others ideas.

Welcome to being exactly like any other damn group in the world. People saying that things should conform to a certain set of conditions without exception, experimentation or deviance. People saying someone can't do something, because they say so.

I could have argued, I could have even won that argument. But that's beside the point. I wasn't par of QM to argue. I was there because I don't conform, because I do rebel against the imposition of authority on me, because I can see the value in having that social space.

But not like that. That's no place for me to be because I would react more and more badly to feeling as if I was being made to conform. I've enough on my plate right now without a stupid pointless power-struggle over a once every few months club night with people I quite like...
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